Goodbyes happen every day and to varying degrees throughout our year. They span from finishing a great meal to losing a loved one. Through regular journaling I found that being intentional about this process was comforting and helped me ease the transitions from life with something to life without it.
If you have experienced tragic loss you know there are no words to describe the anguish and the all-consuming weight that bears down on you. We’ve just passed the 6-month anniversary of my friend Kim’s death and the experience has evolved in different ways, so it is time to write again. Some aspects are worse. Some are better. Here are my experiences with grief, as they present themselves further along in the process.
“A year in parenthesis” We’re officially one year into this pandemic. And while we may be eager to forget it ever happened, I suggest that we still have the option of being changed for the better. In my last few posts I outlined the struggles that I and other musicians are facing in the absence of being on stage. So much of our self-worth is tied to the adrenaline rush and feedback we receive, and without them things begin to crumble and our motivation can slow to a stop. (I’d love for you to take a second to check out…
Those of us linked to the performance industry receive our reinforcement in the form of an engaged audience, big smiles, applause, and maybe a personal story shared with us after a show, so it's no surprise that many of us are feeling more stalled and unmotivated than ever. The more successful we feel, the more eager we are to create, and right now there’s nothing to trigger that cycle. So then the question is: when we’re not creating, who are we, even?
Florence– “Fierenze” as the Italians call it, is a movie-esque city shrouded in history and still buzzing with the creativity of the Renaissance. It sits nestled in the hills of Tuscany, and a wander down its storybook streets leaves you feeling miniscule in the shadow of its larger-than-life marble statues and iconic Italian architecture. It’s a distinct and breath-taking rush to gaze up and feel so small, and Florence delivers at very turn. On my first day I spent 14 hours speed-walking in excited exploration of the city’s museums, historical buildings, and shopping. IG-worthy photos at every turn. I felt…
Anxiety, worry, racing thoughts, brain-lock, depression, moods, “lows” ... however you choose to reference your mind’s tendencies, it’s safe to say that all of us have experienced one or more of these. Some of us seasonally, some weekly, and others minute-to-minute. I’ve written about my personal challenges throughout this blog, particularly with regards to my life of travel and creativity. I hope to share more specifics of my experiences this year at some point in the future, but for now I'd love to share some of my daily devices for staying emotionally grounded, positive, and more peaceful.
I wrote the original version of this post via voice-to-text on my drive home from a special evening seeing a new friend perform south of Nashville. (See more here on accommodating creativity.) On this drive, a warmth is over me that I haven’t felt in awhile. Like a hand on my shoulder. The warmth offered by a couple of life cues that tell you you’re going in the right direction, even though you may have no idea what lies ahead. There’s been a noticeable LACK of this feeling in my first few weeks of quiet time at home. (This post…
I am incredibly lucky to have a global tribe of people that supports my endeavors and cares for me when I’m in need. You know who you are, and this year wouldn’t have been possible or enjoyable without all of your help. For one of the first times in my life I had to put my fierce independence aside and embrace my need for others, and you all showed up. Historically speaking, relying on others was not my really my “thing.” I spent the years just prior to my travel adventure embracing newly-found independence and convincing myself that this need…
“Where are you based?”“When do you head home?” I still fumble through the answers to these questions after shows. Throughout the year I tried not to use the word “homeless.” More like “home-free.” Usually I mentioned something about two full-time bands and it not making sense to pay rent anywhere, but I’m still not sure most people fully understood what it meant.No closet. No address. No bed. No desk. No nightstand. No junk drawer… Just minimal clothes stashed in different places in the country, and a daily attempt to make a new place feel like a home. I’ll be forever…
Despite pain making life more difficult, it has also given me what I consider to be one of my greatest strengths. I’ve learned to “default to empathy”in all situations, and it has truly changed the way I live my life. For years my pain made me bitter and resentful, but now, it makes it that much easier for me to identify with others and have compassion for anyone else suffering in any way. This took a conscious shift in mindset and certainly isn’t fool-proof, but now I believe my history of pain allows me to have empathy readily available in…