Coping with unstructured days in uncertain times

This is an unprecedented time in our country, and for each of us personally. While we’re grappling with the uncertainty and fear of a global pandemic, many of us are also facing a new challenge: free time.
We can’t remember the last time we woke up without an alarm, cooked all three meals, or binged-watched a netflix series. It’s enjoyable at first, but ironically the expanse of time can lead to feeling massively overwhelmed, especially when coupled with the widespread anxiety that’s enveloping our country. We’re a few weeks in, and this is when the lack of structure really starts taking its toll. 

I’ll never forget waking up that first autumn Monday after I had made the “leap” to perform full-time, and was no longer a student or classroom teacher. I wandered into the kitchen on Day 1 and stared blankly, paralyzed by indecision.  “What do I do first? What do I like to eat? Do I try to be productive? What’s most important? What time is lunch time? Can I take a day off? Do I workout in the morning or afternoon? Am I even hungry? Everyone else is working, I should be too…” The new freedom was debilitating. 

This unlimited time we’re experiencing as we shelter-in-place means we’re faced with a deluge of daily decisions without any of our normal structures to help us make them. Without work, school, meal times, appointments, etc we’re left having to ask “what do I want?”, many for the first time. It’s unsettling at best.  

Quickly we go from asking “what do I want to do” to “what should I be doing? Social media is telling us that everyone is leaping into long-awaited projects, exercising, organizing… and the comparison is inevitable. As my mom eloquently put it, we’re “swimming in a sea of ‘shoulds.’” We’re told we should be seizing this time, but many of us are either stalled by indecision, don’t have the energy, or genuinely don’t know how.

As a musician who spends her life on and off tour, I am strangely well-equipped for this time; it resembles the mental unrest of every “first week home” off the road, going from extreme structure to open days.

From a self-employed, work-from-home-er, thinker, and creative who’s dealt with many of these pressures, here are my suggestions for handling this time:

Rest

First, let yourself rest. That is absolutely the most valuable use of this time. Read that again. I suspect we will be isolating long enough that you’ll eventually see your motivation return once your body has slept and taken a deep, recuperating breath. Hold yourself to absolutely no standards, schedules, or rules. Just succumb to it. Even if the rest phase lasts the whole time we’re in quarantine, I bet you’ll come out of the gate ready to take on projects and extras tasks once real life begins again.
(It’s no accident that this article comes two weeks into this shutdown. I just couldn’t. do. anything. So I didn’t. … And then eventually I could.) 

When resting feels sufficient and the “shoulds” begin to take their toll, here’s what’s next: 

Make a schedule

Self-structuring involves being intentional about scheduling, even in your own home. Some items will vary day-to-day and some won’t, but be sure to make a loose plan the night before to eliminate decision-making in the morning. You could designate work time, rest time, project time, etc, or more loosely designate the morning for productivity and afternoon for relaxing, for example.

Do something first thing.

A feeling of accomplishment, however small, goes an incredibly long way. Find a way to feel like you’ve achieved something as early in the day as possible, however small. Some days this is just getting out of bed and showering, other times it’s a 10-mile run. Either is wonderful. Starting this way will change your whole outlook on the day. 

Ideas:

• Take a cold shower 
• Go for a walk 
• Read 10 pages in a book 
• Try 3 minutes of mindfulness (starters guide here)
• Take a yoga class 
• Eat a really healthy breakfast 

Try a routine

However small, build it and stick to it for at least a few days. Routines eliminate some of your decisions and offer you support throughout the day. It could be as small as eating the same thing for breakfast, doing some type of movement in the morning, or walking every afternoon after lunch. Remember how much you would have killed to take a walk or a short nap after lunch?  

Set meal times 

Meals have to happen, and can be called upon to create some daily framework. If you’d rather not decide on specific times, you could decide “3 meals and 1 snack,” or follow a particular meal plan you’ve been wanting to try. 

Plan your virtual events

While social media can add quite a bit to the stress of this time, it is also providing us lots of opportunities to take classes, see live music, and laugh. I’ve been setting my phone with a series of alarms to keep track of all my virtual happenings and phone dates. (An alarm going off and feeling like you need to be somewhere can be strangely comforting.) Look up a band you’ve been meaning to see or find some fun new Instagram accounts that bring you joy.
Is it just me, or has social media gotten extra funny given all this extra time?

Alright, you’re feeling rested and more at ease, and your motivation is resurfacing.

Set attainable goals 

Make a list of all the projects you’d love to get done sometime in your life, however large or small. Make sure it is YOUR list. Which ones could be fully completed during this time, honestly? Don’t sabotage yourself with unrealistic expectations.  What larger projects could you start during this time? Give yourself loose goals but with no deadline. After all, we have no idea how long this will last. 

Prioritize the projects you’d actually LIKE to work on. Do those first. Start with the smallest step just to get the ball rolling. Bigger tasks start with tiny steps. More on getting projects done here.

Ideas:

• Pick one cabinet to organize
• Hem those jeans
• Trim down social media feed
• Re-arrange living room

Here’s your mantra: “Whatever gets done will be more than I would’ve done otherwise.” (Even if that’s resting.)

Take care of yourself

If you’re up for it, this is an opportune time to prioritize physical and emotional wellness, and having a handle on health makes uncertainty far more tolerable.

Experiment

I have been enjoying the day-to-say consistency as an opportunity to experiment with little, healthy lifestyle challenges that I’d never otherwise have the controlled environment or time to try. 

“What foods am I actually sensitive to?” 
“What activities cause my low back pain?” 
“How much does caffeine affect my sleep? 

Other Ideas:

Again, your self-compassion mantra: “Whatever gets done will be more than I would’ve done otherwise.” 

• Cut refined sugar
• Eat only before 8pm
• Celery juice in the morning
• Start a probiotic
• Apple Cider Vinegar shot
• Stretch daily
• Try CBD

Protect yourself

Give your emotional health a fighting chance and protect yourself from the onslaught of information and social pressure that technology brings. Media sources, social and otherwise, are informative and important, but in mass quantities can greatly increase our stress during this time. You may decide to limit and designate time in front of the news or on Facebook, and comb through your news feed to unfollow those who cause undue stress. Trust that you will not miss anything major. Try a book instead. (This millenial is finally reading the Hunger Games.) 

Above all, you do you

This is a stressful time, and we all handle uncertainty and fear very differently. Your neighbor may be out painting her fence to cope, and you may find netflix is your source of comfort. That’s ok.

Despite the fear that shrouds this current climate, we have the strange opportunity to have the time to do things that we’ve been talking about – even if that’s just to rest. Explore your wants and needs curiously and have no shame or judgement for what you decide. Whatever you do during this time is what you need to be doing.  Whether it’s resting or being productive, it’s valuable, and it’s something you wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. Go easy on yourself.

Good luck. 💙🌏💨
Diana